If you have been in the yoga world for a while, chances are you have heard someone talk about "holding space". It is very common to hear that our job as yoga teachers is to "Hold Space" for our students.

Every once in a while I will have a brave yoga student come over and ask me what this common phrase ACTUALLY means...and how do you actually do it?

I love this question because it brings us back to a core concept that is SO often glossed over in the yoga and healing space.

That is the idea that if we want to be able to genuinely offer something to ANOTHER...we first have to be able to give it to OURSELF.

Want to be patient with others?...practice patience with yourself

Want to practice non-violence with others?...practice non-violence with yourself

Want to give compassion to others?...practice giving compassion to yourself

Want to practice holding space for others?...FIRST practice Holding Space for YOURSELF!

This is the only way to get a deep, rich connection to any of these skills. We have to live it within ourselves first.

This process becomes a central focus of our personal yoga and meditation practice through the lens of YOGA THERAPY.

As you will see from the following description, the process of holding space is the same process that supports any healthy relationship.

Heather Plett's definition is "Being willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they're on, without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome."

What are the components of Holding Space?

• Being PRESENT with & aware of what is happening NOW (Your meditation skills in action!)
• With an attitude of openness and support to whatever comes up
• In an environment of Acceptance and Non-Judgement
• Being a force of Calm presence for nervous system Co-Regulation
• Creating a physical or emotional space in which their experience, feelings and emotions can be explored safely
• Listening deeply & attentively
• Being an empathetic presence (seeking to understand and BE with, without trying to fix or change)
• Conveying a sense of being seen, acknowledged, and validating their experience

What is the Opposite of Holding Space?

• being distracted or ignoring the experience happening now
• Judging or criticizing the experience that is unfolding
• being dismissive or closed off..."There is no room for (...anger...) here"
• being drawn into and immersed in the other's emotional experience
• trying to "fix" or change the situation or experience right away
• not listening or seeing what is happening

Does this sound like some of the inner patterns you have?

It is VERY common to have difficulty Being With our Own experiences. Especially if we did not grow up with an adult who was able to model this for us.

The good news is...its never too late to learn how!

How do we "Hold Space" for Ourselves?

• Being your own container for feelings, emotions and experiences
• Being open and attentive to whatever comes up within you (not just the good stuff!)
• Sit with the feeling, and acknowledge it, without having to "fix" it
• The inner "neutral observer" becomes your force of calm presence- being with, watching your experience unfold
• create open space for all feelings & notice if there is a tendency to want to ignore or turn away from some aspects of your experience
• offer yourself acceptance and non-judgement throughout the experience

How do we "Hold Space" for others?

Over time we can become very skilled at holding space for our emotions and experiences (even the BIG heavy ones!). Just like any skill- the more we practice, the better we get.

We practice sitting with challenging feelings, big feelings, good, bad, and neutral feelings- we are THEN able to offer this to the people around us.

The next time a friend comes to you with a challenging situation you will have a greater capacity to listen deeply, be with their feelings, anchor them into a place of calm presence, and offer them the experience of being seen and supported.

As a yoga teacher, you are creating both the physical space (the room or studio) for your students to experience their practice...as well as the emotional and energetic foundation for their experience (acceptance, non-judgement, empathy).

When we learn and PRACTICE this process of Holding Space, we will see our own emotional capacity expand and the depth of our relationships expand.

If you would like to learn more about the specific meditation practices and Yoga Therapy techniques that we can use to Be With & Process our Emotions...I invite you to join us in the Virtual (Yoga Therapy) Studio: https://laura-goellner.heymarvelous.com/

Thanks for being here!

-Laura G.

Occupational Therapist

Yoga Therapist